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April 20 I've discovered Heaven on Earth...Otherwise known as DSW. I resisted. Barely. Only because my mission today was to find clothes, not shoes. And I did. I now have three new suits for work. First day is tomorrow, so I definitely put it off to the last minute. April 14 Big Changes in the Life of JayneSo first, I turned in notice at my job of the last five years. Then I taught my last class, at least for a year. I dropped out of the MBA program, because I'm just not sure that's the direction I want to take. And this week, I chopped off all of my hair.
Think anyone will notice? March 19 It's Official!Today, I turned in my 30 day notice at my current job. I am taking the new job, and moving on. Part of me is sad, and nervous. My current company is small, and I like most of the people that I work with. Several have become good friends. I even go to the CFO's house twice a year to re-pot all of her houseplants. It's also the job I had when I first got my divorce. It was the place that helped me to move through that mess, so it's kind of a safety zone. But we can't stay in the safety zone, and still grow so here I go. The nice thing is, I have an 'informant'. One of my former students works there. In fact, she is the one who told the company about me. I was actually interviewed originally for a position that isn't created yet, and they decided to bring me in anyway, into another department, until the other position is approved. So I interviewed with the head of that department. Well, now the two department heads are fighting over me. I will be the rope in their tug of war. It's so nice to be wanted! But, the position I want is the one that hasn't been created, so hopefully that's who will win. That would be payroll, and I've worked hard on my credentials & reputation in that area. Oh, well. Either way, the money is much better. The exhusband debt will be paid off before Christmas (that's a huge WOOHOO!!!!!), and I will be looking really good in 2009. So that's it in a nutshell! Hope everyone else's week is going well! March 11 A Sound Financial Investment in the Future?That's how the HR rep described me today. My interview went well Friday, other than being cut short by the threat of an inch or two of snow. (Hey, it's Nashville. They see a flake, they run for milk & bread.) I spoke with her again today, because I had a few more questions and asked what the next step would be. So the next step is that the two I interviewed with are speaking with the CFO about how I am a sound investment in the future of a growing company. Talk about responsibility! I feel like if I am hired, I'm going to be expected to raise revenues & slash expenses in a single bound! LOL! Did I mention I'm in payroll? I spend money, not bring it in! All in all, if the offer is made and it's a good offer, I would really like to work with this company. They are in the cancer treatment field. Let's face it, healthcare is a good field to be in. But I've been saying to friends that I would really like to do something that means something. That's exactly what this company is doing. Yeah, they are making money with it, but it's still a service that is needed to help people. I think I could feel really good about what the company does. And fiscally, they have doubled their revenues in the last 16 months. They are projected to double in size in the next two years. That's pretty exciting, not to mention offers a lot of opportunity to someone who wants to grow with the company. So hopefully we will be able to come to an agreement. Anyway, enough about my possibility of future career changes. I leave Friday for Orlando. My brother is getting married Saturday evening, and I'm driving 11 hours to get there, probably Saturday morning. I'll sleep all day, go to the wedding Saturday night, and come back on Sunday. Needless to say, I won't be at work on Monday. Other than that, not much going on. It was a Beautiful Weekend in Music City, USA!It was absolutely gorgeous, sunny & even warm! It's still quite pretty today, but rain is forecast for later. And back down to 36 by Friday. Welcome to Tennessee. I started out Saturday, doing my typical errands but it was just TOO pretty to spend time in WalMart! So I called a friend, and she brought the little one to town. We ate lunch at this italian restaurant, Maggianos. The absolute best italian food EVER. I'm fairly certain it was not on the Weight Watchers menu, but we all must take breaks now & then. Afterwards we took her toddler (1 1/2 yr old) to Centennial Park to run off some energy. Whew! Who needs an elliptical when you have one of those to chase?! I actually broke a sweat! We had a good time though. Sunday was even more beautiful, and 70+ degrees. I went to the Farmers Market, and the Bi Centennial Mall. Which is actually a state park. Weird, I know. But it's really neat, especially if you are a history buff (not me). Here are a few pics:
February 28 Bored, Distracted, Edgy...I may have a job interview next Friday. The only thing is, they want me to interview for a job that isn't the one I applied for. Then if all goes well, and I get that job, I can just "wait" for the position I was originally interviewed for to be created. The money would be good, but I'm not sure if this is the direction I want to take. What if the possible position is never created? I've worked hard to establish myself in a certain field, and moving completely out of it could compromise that. Well, at least I have a week to really think about it. We're going back to Daytona again this year. I've probably mentioned that. But now I can't get the beach off the brain. It's constantly there, waves crashing, sun shining and sand between my toes. Makes it hard to concentrate, you know? Still going strong on the smoking. Tomorrow will be 28 days, I think. Might be 35, can't remember when I first quit. So certain things have come to light...if you smoke and decide to quit, be prepared for a few unexpected side effects. Along with the permanent munchies and the initial grouchiness, there is the smell. Once your sense of smell comes back, you can smell EVERYTHING! And contrary to popular belief, that is not always a good thing. :) Right now, in winter, everything smells musty, closed up and stale. My air freshener is too strong, cologne of any kind gives me a headache. But they say it will pass. Yep, I'm complaining. Give me a break. I want a cigarette but I'm blogging instead. :) Well, must get back to work. Makes it easier to daydream about the beach! February 19 Tuesday's Gone87 Days and 6 Hours (I'm not counting. Seriously!) Whoever said that working out gives you energy LIED! I went to bed early last night, about 10:30. That's seriously early for me. I did this so I could get up early & hit the gym. I had lost my gym membership when I moved, & just signed up again. Now I'm sitting at my desk and can barely keep my eyes open. That's with strong coffee, and a nicotine patch. This is not good. The nicotine patch alone usually has me jazzed and focused. Ugh! Speaking of the patch, yes, I'm trying to quit smoking AGAIN! I used to be able to just quit cold turkey, usually with the aid of nothing but cough drops & suckers. Hasn't worked the last few times I've tried, so I decided to try the patch. The side effects? Well, until today, there has been one great side effect. I have been more energetic and focused during the day than ever before. I never smoked much during the work day, but I put the patch on each morning. Apparently I should have been smoking all day long. Weird. The only other side effect happens right after I put it on. For the first hour, my arm aches with that cold burn feeling. Drove me nuts the first few times. But I've been smoke free for about three weeks now. Wish me luck! My brother is getting married again, March 15th! She seems like a great girl, with a 4 yr old son. Seems weird to think of my brother as a step-father. He was never really into kids much. But Dad said he is great with him. Don't they make a lovely family? February 18 Monday, Monday...Back to work. <sigh> It was a beautiful weekend. Warm, sunny. I opened all of my windows at home, to bring in the fresh air. This, of course, was after snow flurries, sleet and freezing temperatures last week up until Thursday, and today is a whopping 49 degrees. Okay, I realize that's still warmer than my Ohio hometown, but jeez! Talk about extremes! 88 hours, and 46 minutes until I drive to Florida on vacation. Woohoo! Going for 11 days this year, and cannot wait! I'll be hitting both coasts again, a few days at Daytona Beach, then to my mother's house in central Florida. The Gulf Coast is only a two hour drive from her house. Sea World and Cypress Gardens are on the hit list, too. My friend, Marie, is going with me and she has a beautiful eye for photography so she should get some spectacular photos out of the trip! I have a phone interview this Wednesday. I did some consulting for one of my former students last weekend and she told me the company was possibly creating a new position, which would actually be her supervisor. Anyway, she talked to her HR director, and I had an email on Monday. Wish me luck! This company is rapidly expanding, pays very well, and is about two miles from my home. Can't ask for much better than that! February 15 Back again...Okay, finally all computers are running and I should be back in gear. Here's hoping anyway! Did everyone have wonderful holidays, up to yesterday, the dreaded Valentine's Day? Hope so! I say dreaded because apparently, I'm supposed to. After all, I'm single. So Valentine's Day should be one of those horrible days where I bemoan my single state. Right? Whatever. Here's the thing...I don't bemoan my single state. Yes, it would be nice to be in a steady relationship. But I don't need it to make me happy. And by golly, if I want flowers & candy, I'll buy them! It's a silly thing, hating a day just because it celebrates love. But I see it everywhere. Too much energy spent on hating an ideal. :) I've taken the semester off again. I had the great epiphany (those are always dangerous). Someone asked what I was going to school for. I answered, to get my MBA, so I can teach. They ask, Oh, what are you going to teach? Um, good question. An MBA would qualify me to teach management, basic accounting and what? Do I WANT to teach those things? Not really. I teach payroll now, without an MBA, and I like it because 1) these are adults striving for certification in order to better their lives, 2) Payroll encompasses SO many areas..human resources, tax law, credit law, accounting, service, etc... 3) It's definitely not one of those freshman requirements where nobody wants to be there. So I took a step back, and decided to re-direct my tuition funds to my primary goal of being debt-free until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up. On the personal side, eh, not much happening. :) Planning my annual vacation, re-arranging my furniture, and what-not. December 13 Just an updateI am a bad, bad blogger. Very bad. However, in my defense, I must mention that I moved my laptop into the second bedroom (soon to be office) in order to cut back on my computer gaming. I admit, I am completely and totally on gaming, and will play for hours, forgoing sleep, food & drink until a migraine begins. I have an old NES system that I keep unhooked, and in the closet to prevent a game binge. :)
Anyways, back to life in general, I registered for school this week. I took this last semester off just for a break. Plus, I was trying to decide on a couple of things. In the meantime, I learned that I was still admitted to the MBA program at my alma mater. (Go figure, I was admitted over 12 years ago.) I also learned that they might let me keep the classes I took over a decade ago, I wouldn't have to re-take the GMAT and going online there was only about $40 more per class than my current university. Considering my current university is also a 90 mile round trip, I switched. Wouldn't you? I have to admit though, I think I will miss being in class. I'm one of those people who really enjoys interacting with the professor, and I learn a lot that way. But hopefully, this will work out. (must think self-discipline, self-discipline, self-discipline.)
Oh, and on the same day, I signed up to teach two classes and to help with a third. And a study group. Yes, I'm an idiot. In my defense (a lot of self-defense today), one of the classes might not have enough students, the study group is only four weeks until I start a main group that volunteers will teach, and my lesson plans are already done since I've taught the class before. But yes, if you are thinking I will have no life, you are correct. :)
Personal life is going well. I decided to force myself to start getting out there. I joined a few groups from meetup.com (cool site, if you are looking for something to do), and started socializing. And the old friend is still around, as much as his schedule allows. He's on tour a lot, and picks up local gigs when he's in town. Bit of a work-a-holic these days.
So that's life in general. Stop by and say HI! September 04 Three Day Weekend! I'm baaaack! Went home to Ohio for the holiday weekend. I had a great visit with my family, hung out with the youngest siblings (9 and 11), and relaxed. We had two cookouts, one with my dad's side of the family and one for my stepmother's side. It's been a very long time since I've seen so many family members in one weekend. It was great!
How was your holiday?! August 28 What's up with meHad my first REAL interview yesterday. It was completely weird. The interviewer talked the whole time, cursed and only asked two questions. I have since heard more about her reasons, but I think I will pass on that one even though she wants to talk to me more. Besides, I am kind of re-thinking the path I was planning to take. See, I'm in payroll. I'm certified, I teach it and I do it. So I was looking in payroll. I also have quite a bit of accounting experience, and I spent 12 years in hotels. A recruiter told me that my resume was almost too diverse. Like I didn't know what I want to be when I grow up. Problem is, I do know. I want to teach. I would teach accounting & business courses. I need to finish my masters before I can do this. But it isn't like you can tell a potential employer " Oh, I plan to teach in a couple of years. So I will only stay with you until that's possible, and oh, by the way, do you have tuition reimbursment?" But one point my recruiter made was that perhaps I should concentrate more on accounting positions than payroll. There are more of them out there, it would round out that portion of my experience and the money is good. He also suggested studying for my CPA. (yuck) However, in listening to him, I realized that a college would be more inclined to hire an accountant to teach accounting, than a payroll manager. And if I ever want to get my PhD, I will need my CPA to get into a good school. So now I'm backing off and re-structuring the plan.
My friend, R., seems to have taken our friendship to a different level. In the past, I was always the one who ran to him with my problems. But he never came to me with his. (I have a feeling it's one of those manly man issues) But lately, he has been experiencing some career letdowns himself, and he's been calling me to talk. I don't mind, in fact I'm glad that he can do this. But I can't help wondering if things are moving forward. Maybe? Or am I reading too much into it? I don't know. I'm really trying not to read too much into it, but its tough. I have 17 years of history with this man. I would really like a future with him.
Okay, done whining! Heading home this weekend to visit Dad and the munchkins! At least my move cuts off about an hour of drive time. It was close to 8, and now should be about 7. The maps say six, but they are never right. Besides, its a holiday weekend & Kentucky is full of construction. So I need to get to the library and grab some books on CD. I haven't been home since Christmas though, so it will be good to see everyone.
Hope everyone has a great week! August 12 Sunday night...I don't really like Sunday evening. I start to stress about work, that I didn't get enough housework done, blah blah blah. I need a hobby!!
I met with another recruiter on Friday. I liked this one. He really understood where I want to go with my career, what type of job I was interested in finding, etc. He's not likely to suggest a job that, while I may be qualified, it goes in a different direction than I have planned. I have pretty high hopes for a good prospect from him.
No news from Daytona. <sigh> Not that I really expected to. I'm sure the competition is fierce for that position. Besides I just moved in June, love my new place and FINALLY got my guestroom halfway situated. I can't finish it until I finish painting the bedroom. I can't finish painting until this heatwave breaks because the fumes made me horribly sick when I did the first wall. But once the painting is done, there are two pieces of furniture in the guest room that will move into my bedroom. Right now, there's a bed in my room. That's it. Just a bed. It's a little empty.
I've been thinking about getting a roommate. Preferably short-term. But I'm not sure if I can share my space with someone. I can be quite the hermit at times, and really like my privacy. It would definitely make a big difference in the finances though. So I'm thinking about it. With this being a college town, I could probably find a Vanderbilt student who would move out at the end of the semester or next semester. Six or seven months would pay off all my debt except my car and student loan. So sacrificing my privacy may be worth it for a while.
Well, best hit the sack. School is back in session tomorrow so my commute may be a whole 15 minutes instead of 10. LOL! August 04 So now what...Update on the job search: I applied for three positions, received calls from four recruiters and have an interview with one on Tuesday. I would like to work close to where I work now though, so I'm going to hold out for the right position. I don't want to jump into a job just because I'm tired of the one I have. But it's tempting. So far, the salaries that have been thrown at me are 7 to 10 grand higher than I make now. I knew I was underpaid, but didn't know it was that much. Very tempting, when you are paying cash for grad school, and paying off the ex-husband debt. I added that debt up by the way. So far, in the three years we have been divorced, I have paid 16K in exhusband debt. Exhusband debt is debt he incurred that I either agreed to take to get him to sign the divorce papers, and the debt I've found out about since, like credit cards and checking accts I didn't know about, but my social security number was on them. Isn't that just peachy? But, from my records, there is only $5000 left to pay, and it should be gone in about 8 months. Yeah!!!! Okay back to the job search subject, ... I have noticed the weirdest trend. When I look at the benefits being offered by a lot of the large companies, pet insurance has become an almost common benefit. Isn't that odd? Although, considering what I have paid in vet bills in the past, I can certainly understand the benefit of having insurance. But through payroll deduction? I read an article today that actually recommended blogging for your career. Now, on campus, there are tons of articles saying 'be careful about your online presence' or 'what will a potential employer find if he googles you'. But this person recommended doing a professional site, and blogging on a regular basis. I've been thinking about that. I already have a website for people studyng for payroll certification. It needs to be updated, but it is used by a lot of people. There are people from the largest payroll company in the world using my site for reference material. I could probably add a blog to it. Include the questions that I get asked by my payroll students, or situations I run into. But I would have to have disclaimers everywhere. Talking about taxes can get you in trouble. So I guess that's it for today. Hopefully I will finish painting the bedroom this weekend. But I definitely need some pool-time, too. So maybe just another wall. :) At least I know to make up the sofa bed this time! July 31 Tired, tired, tired...The last couple of weeks have been tough. I started a new med that has my system completely out of whack. I've been sick and my emotions have been all over the board. Plus work has been bad. Just really bad. Actually, yesterday I came home and put some time into a job search. I didn't really want to do that until I graduated, but yesterday was the kicker. On the other side, I started painting the bedroom. It's a beautiful shade of amethyst. Kind of dark, I know, but I like the cave effect! Hopefully I will finish this weekend. I never have liked half painted walls. Have you heard of the website, Meetup.com? I registered there the other day. You join different social groups through the site, based on common interests. I thought it would be a good way to meet people that didn't involve going to a bar! Haven't made it to the outings yet, though. Well, that's all for today. I'm going to go take a nap! July 11 It's official!I am now a West End resident. The move was horrible. But it's over. Nearly all of the boxes are unpacked now. Except the guest room, which I'm saving for a day when I need to be tortured. I finally brought the toolbox in so I can start hanging pictures, shelves and what not. I'm waiting for a friend to help me dispose of the loveseat that was broken in the move. And I'm buying a washer / dryer next week, so I guess the heavy lifting isn't quite over yet. Ugh! But it's getting there. I'll be painting soon! The best part, I can make it to work in less than fifteen minutes. Woohoo! The friend has been by to visit the new place. Still didn't say anything to him about how I feel. I'm not sure I ever will. But I wonder if he would help me carry a loveseat? So everything else is going kind of the same. Work is still boring. I started teaching again last night. School starts in the end of August. Weight loss is stalled. Again. But I have someone to walk with, now that I've moved. So hopefully, that will get it jumpstarted again. Would probably help if I went to the grocery store though. It's a second floor condo. I've been dreading a trip to the grocery store. I need to find a delivery service. This is my theory about grocery delivery. Yes, I realize it will cost more. HOWEVER, if I have to order it, I won't impulse buy and will save serious moulah. And believe me, I'm the world's worst impulse buyer when it comes to grocery shopping. June 25 Moving Day....More like the day from hell. But I have now spent the first night in my new place. Got to work this morning in ten minutes. That was great! I slept until almost 7 am. Of course, I have nothing unpacked. I couldn't find the towels, so I used a clean tshirt to dry off after the shower. :) But I went home for lunch, hung out with Squawk (the only kitty that has come out of hiding so far), and opened a couple of boxes. I still need to pick up some stuff at the old place. My plants, and a few other things. And clean, of course. I'm not going to get my deposit back, regardless. I painted my kitchen red, after all. So the maintenance guy told me not to bother with cleaning, but I can't do that. I might not clean the oven though. Hate doing that! Now, it's unpacking and picking up those little things like icetrays. Well, more later. Must get back to work now. <Sigh... June 18 I know, I know....I haven't been blogging in forever. Time just got away from me. And now i'm in the process of moving to Nashville, and out of the 'boro. My commute time will go from 1.5 hrs each way to fifteen minutes. Yeah! I've signed up for a couple of social groups, and even connected with a couple of WW friends that live close to my new place so I will finally have walking buddies. (NOBODY wants to walk at 5 am, believe me! Which is when I have to do it with my current commute.) But life should be a little less stressful. At least that's what I'm hoping.
On a different note, I reconnected with an old friend of mine. We've known each other since my sophomore year in college so it has been 17 years since the first time we spoke. I've written about him before. We lost touch for nearly 8 years, and I missed him dreadfully. What I haven't written before is what type of friend he was. Yeah, guys. He was a friend with benefits. (see, I don't blog for a while then I come back with this! jeesh!) Here's the thing though...we had that connection from the moment we met. It's almost scary, how deep that connection goes. But we were really good friends, too. I could talk to him about anything. ANYTHING. And I trust him. That's really difficult for me to do. I can count the number of people, besides kin, that I trust on one hand and still have fingers left over. He's the only man on that list. When I was raped, (can't remember if I mentioned that before) he was there for me. He said the one thing that kept me sane for a long, long time. I remember, I called him and I wasn't going to tell him but it spilled out. I was crying, and he said come to me. you'll be safe. I'll make you safe. And that's what he was to me. My safe place, my harbor, my lodestone. When I felt like my world was tilting completely out of reality, he brought me back. And I loved him for it. Not in a white dress, red roses kind of way. Just genuine, what would I do without this person in my life, caring. And then he met this girl, and I met my ex husband and we lost touch. It was inevitable. I've been told before that people could see the connection between us. Another woman will never accept me in his life. My ex met him once. I had to listen to him bitch for a month about how I looked at him. And he didn't know that we were more than friends in the past. So I hated not having him in my life, but I knew it would probably happen. To be honest, it was probably a good thing. I had grown so used to leaning on him, that I didn't lean on my own personal strength. Going through my hell of a marriage and subsequent divorce made me grow strong. I'm much stronger than I was then. So it was a good thing. Right? Anyways, fast forward...my phone rang the night after my birthday. And it was him. And it was like no time had passed at all. He came over, spent the night, we talked. We talked about relationships that went bad (his was apparently a nutcase, too), philosphy on dating (neither one of us do), marriage (he's not ready, and I'm not sure I ever will again). But the connection was still there, just as strong as it ever was. It's almost primal, it's so strong. (his words, not mine) And he still makes me feel safe. Safe is important to me. But that night, when he was sleeping, it hit me. Sex aside, friendship aside, flat out... I love him. No man can compare with him in my mind. The ex never did, not even in the honeymoon phase. Every guy I've met or dated since meeting him just couldn't measure up to him. I love him. So what do you do when you realize that you've fallen in love with the person you should never fall in love with? When telling him could, probably would, mean losing him completely. Again. Do you take the chance, knowing your life has an empty space if he leaves? Do you wait, and hope that he realizes the same? Just keep it friends, knowing that if he meets someone and falls for them, it will break your heart. What do you do? Which risk do you take? The moment I heard his voice, it was like a piece of me was returning. The moment he hugged me, the first time in eight years, it was like coming home. I've thought of this every day since he was here. I haven't seen him again. He's a stage manager for a huge country band, so he travels a lot. Their tour starts in a couple of weeks, so he won't be around for a long time. So I have time to think about it. But I've been thinking and still haven't made any decisions. It isn't easy, risking your heart. You know? Is it worth it, if it pans out? Definitely. But if it doesn't? I lose him completely. I don't know if I can bear it again.
Ah well, enough whining for now. Off to pack another box or two. Or go to bed, which is what I should have done hours ago. Hope everyone is doing well. Catch you later!
March 16 Word of the DayBracketology The Art and Science of figuring out and filling out NCAA basketball tournament bracket during March Madness. |
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